What do you do when someone close to you completely dishonors one of your values. What if someone presses a button of something that you secretly fear? Do you run away, give up, or try harder to actually speak your truth?
One of the things that I secretly struggle with is the fear of losing friends, connections or relationships. So much so, that I actually try to appease, please, agree, and give in. I try too hard to make things work. I try hard to make sure that people like me. It is the thing that is a secret burden.
Although it is in the back of my mind always, lately I have tried to do things differently. That thing is actually standing in my truth and being who I am. The way I show up is completely different. I speak up so that my needs are met. I don’t allow my ideas to be overshadowed in order to amplify someone else’s idea. I make sure that I stand firm in what I want, and don’t allow anyone to sway me. I really, really own who I am!
It took a long time to actually get here. And it was no easy feat. There were lots of tears. There were times I would want to be alone for fear of having to make a choice or decision. I would stay in silence and just go with whatever was being suggested because I lacked the self-confidence to say what I really felt. But then, I dived right in to the Co-Active Training Institute’s Leadership program, and I am learning so much more about myself – and others too.
At the core, everyone wants and hopes for the same thing. This thing should be at the top of the chart of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs . That thing is CONNECTION! People die from not being connected. People are at increase risks of sickness and depression from not being connected. But, they are also at risks for these things, when it is the wrong connection. I have made a commitment to myself that I would seek, foster and maintain the RIGHT connections. Even if that means when I stand in all my authenticity and truth, that it may come at a cost to losing people in my life. But, just like a business tries to weed out the wrong customers so that they can serve the right ones; the same thing goes for my life. I have to weed out the fake so that the real can be a light in my life.
It feels good when you can say F&*$ it!
Where my real connects at?!!!!??!!?